I don't often share things going on in my personal life, but I have come to a certain realization about who I am, or at least what I hope is who I used to be. For almost the last decade I started to slowly sink into a really dark place. It's really a build up of my life as a whole. My youth was consistently filled with frightful moments and neglect, which I never really have taken the time to understand and release. It has only been buried under forty-two years worth of extra mental stress. It seems like maybe I have only been rolling through life, hardly in control. It's been a blur, a wave of numbness – a constant see-saw of anxiety and sadness. My mind had always told me that my existence is pointless with every negative word pressing above it.

Only a few days ago, I had the thought to finally stop and think about how to stop it and came to recognize what was happening with me. I've been full of toxins for good reason and either I allow it to take me down or I let it all go and climb out of this. I want to live happy. As soon as I took a peek beyond the dark clouds I see I have plenty to be grateful for. There are so many wonderful people all around me, with my beautiful wife and two daughters on top of it all. So much to be happy for; I just never really knew how to acknowledge it. I know I need time to rebuild myself, but it makes it easier to move forward knowing that there is no more room for negative thoughts in me. I painted this bottle to represent this moment - to help me remember.

Thank you all who have ever sent me positive feedback. I apologize if I may have not replied, but I will do better to make it known that you are appreciated.